Brian's Editorial

This an old editorial from Brian. The one this week was about a single adult activity in Las Vegas that he is helping to set up. So, enjoy this one from August 2008. :)


My typical Sunday consists of church, after church chilling (it is a day of rest), and then usually over to my parents place for Sunday dinner. My cooking skills are somewhat equivalent to my dating skills. Things either turn out half baked or way over done. Even after watching Super Size Me I have found the joy in letting Wendy's do the cooking. But I do follow the rule that I never super size and the only fries I get are the stray one or two that occasionally end up in my bag. Apparently fries are like rabbits and the multiply and are very hard to get rid of. And that is before you eat them.

So on Sundays I never turn down a home cooked meal with non mass produced food. Typically after dinner we play games for a while. Since in modern society imperialism has supposedly taken a back seat, we have to find a different way to let out our strategic tendencies. Sunday I was the Michael Phelps at the games. I could not be stopped. The real estate game: instant bajillionaire. The Middle Eastern building game: master sheik. So of course I was feeling on top of the world until the last game. The game had cards and one of the cards slipped out of my hands. This of itself seems rather innocuous. Except for the fact that I do play with scalpels for a living and that kind of dexterity should not be advertised. (Professional juggler. Scalpels are easier to transport than chainsaws.) We were playing on the back deck because the inside of the house was probably a balmy 90 degrees. Anyway, this card fell from my hand and it fell perpendicular to the deck floor. But my luck was so on that night that the card hit at the exact angle that it slide right through the microscopic opening between the two boards on the deck. I was a little stunned at my obviously advanced skill that without even thinking, I could get a card to thread the needle. I know you are all concerned about the game but rest assured that my victory was secured even with my minor handicap. However, then came the part where my family looked at me to retrieve the card.

Some decks are built above patios. Then there are other decks that are built above small, cramp, dark, rat infested, black widow spider populated, dirty areas that have not been cleaned out since the deck was built. One guess which one my parents is. Armed with a flashlight and one of those grasping hooks that they given people who just had hip replacement, I climbed down to see if I could see the card. My first thought was that it would just be easier to buy a new game on ebay. But then I caught a glimpse of either a leaf from years ago or the edge of a card about 5 feet in. That is when a whole new strategy game started. How to get the card out without actually having to climb underneath and risk bubonic plaque from some rat bite. There seems that there might be some sort of law against getting a child to do it. So I grabbed the longest object I could find, a broom. Using the broom I eased the card forward until I successfully started to bury it underneath whatever the debris was that was under the deck. Luckily by that time, my trust hip replacement hook was able to grab the card and I was unscathed and the spiders relatively undisturbed and we have returned to our symbiotic relationship.

Or in other words. Nothing exciting to report this week. Hope your week was more eventful.

Brian